People tend to make mistakes in life, and there's always one mistake that make them really regret. As for mine, it's you. I didn't cherish you from the start till you left, then i finally realized.. I've made a big mistake by letting you go and didn't even try to hold you back. I'm sorry. I'm glad that at least, we're normal friends now. You still teased me sometimes, even though it's not as much as the past. At least, you tried right ? 25th june, Jianyuan's leg was injured and i accompanied him for the acupuncture, you walked past me and i 'eh' you, you said you want us to go eat first, just the both of us. I still bought a can of redbull for you and pass you through the small gap and get myself a cut. 9th july, we went to darren house, and you came afterwards. You still remember i like to drink ice lemon tea and bought one can for me. You told me that the basketball court construstion did not change at all. You played Fear 3 with darren like a kid, running away from monster instead of killing it. 10th july, you lighted up a cig and i asked you if you want to eat french fries, you look at me in a way that yes you want, but you want me to fed you, do you remember ? All i want is for you to give me another chance to be a better one, the one that can at least make you feel excited for booking out. I'll wait till december which is your ORD and see how things goes. Doesn't matter whether i'm gonna be in a relationship this year ain't it, as long as there is a chance to turn everything around. I'll give it a try.

people shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now.

I'm sorry for always thinking that you're there for me through all ups and downs. You are not who you were in the past anymore, not anymore. You treat me the best, be there for me and love me in the past, what's left now. I really hope you're not referring to me in facebook, really not. I pray that you'll never hate me, always love me not matter what. I guess i'm too selfish, i thought you will always be with me till the end of the time. Yangjie, i just want you to know that. I'm sorry for breaking your heart in the past, i didn't meant it . Believe me, i will be a better person. i don't want you to hate me ;'( not a single bit. I really hope you're not saying me, i'm afraid . very .

There's something about you that make me fallen all over again. When you look me in the eyes, i'm sure my heart melts. You make me want you back for the forth time, and i know it's all gonna be the same. The past happened to crossed my mind everytime when i saw you. I myself can't stand it too. You won't know how much it hurts to see you walk pass my like i'm not there. I don't dare to look into your eyes, but you just attract my attention all the time. Sometimes, my heart skip a beat when i caught you looking at me, when it's because i'm gonna wanna take a look at you. We're no longer the same. I choose to leave you is not because of selfish reasons, i just don't want things to get worse. I'm confused too, i don't know who i want. Deep in my heart i know, you're the one i want back the most. You're the one that break my heart most of the time, but i still want you back the most. It's not because i'm stupid to believe you that you won't do it again, it's because i love you more. I miss your random texts, and i wish you'll give me a surprise someday. It's all my wishes, all mine.

I get sad when i think of the past, everything we did together. Do you even remember ? Remember you used to send me goodnight messages, want me to show you my banana, like making me worry around. Do you remember you went to look for me because you're worried as it's having thunderstorm when we're having our 2.4 run, and also we went to a lot of creepy place, whereby you're always there for me to grab hold of ? And lastly, those facebook sweet status, saying you'll married me and give birth to really cute babies ? I really miss you, i know i failed because i be with him once again. Does this prove to you that he's not worth for us to end it like this, you told me everything will not be the same anymore, you said he changed, but the fact that he didn't . Why can't we get back to the past, everything's perfect. I feel like i'm the happiest girl on earth when i'm with you, till everything came crushing down. i hope we'll get back together, i don't want anything to stop us anymore. please. we're not even friends now, but why ? did you ever wonder, does vivian think of me once in awhile ? i bet you doesn't likes me anymore, I'm sorry XT.

那天,是谁先说了再见? I miss you so much now, you're no longer mine once again. It have been the third time, did you realized ? I've bring up the courage to broke up with you, it's all end up what i expected, but worst. I knew i don't bear to lose you, i knew it. Firstly i message you nicely, asked everything nicely eg. do you still like me ? I'm asking for a direct answer, and yet what you did was showing me attitude, saying if i want to break, then just break. For the moment, I broke down. I cried infront of my friends and was really sad. I bet you won't know, you'll never know how it feels, never will . I'm sorry, but I've doubt your feeling long ago. We didn't message for 6days straight, didn't talk and didn't went home like we did normally. You've changed, once again. We've been together for 2 times before, and this is the 3rd time, the same reason for breaking up, I'm the one who broke down, it's always been me. I wish everything will be back to the same, but I don't think it will anymore. I meant it to break up with you on your birthday, I thought you'll make a difference. It seems like, everything ended. I really feel like breaking down, but to be strong enough to let you go, I'm trying not to . I've forced myself to break up with you, before you do, because at least .. I've changed the history by a little, right ?

Happy 3rd honeyyy ! Once again, i'm upset. It's our 3rd month yesterday and you said that you've forgotten about it, i waited for your text for hours. Nowadays we didn't communicate much, didn't message, didn't talk, didn't meet each other, do you know how afraid am i to lose you ? Baby, are you willing to fight for me ? I doubt your feelings towards me, i can't feel that you love me anymore. Not as much as last time, but what you told me was that you still love me as much. Prove it, action speaks louder than words darling. I don't want to leave you, but i don't want to be nothing at all too . i feeling lost more and more lately, i dare not to tell you . But boy, do you know that i'll leave sooner or later ? You gave me enough disappointment, no more please.

Happy 2nd month Honey (; I'm rather disappointed, and also upset. You're not able to send me to school due to your muscle cramp, I'm not okay with it, but i understand. Didn't talk much in school, because you sit far away during the national day celebration and I'm not okay too . Didn't sit together in bus, and yet you get angry. :( Isn't it me that suppose to be angry instead of you ? Thought it's all okay, cause we're gonna spend time together in the afternoon. But everything end up differently as i thought. You didn't spend the effort to be with me at all, why won't you sarcrifice yourself and go Jurongpoint with me ? why not ;( ? You only think about yourself, I'm really not okay . Not at all, you know how disappointed am i a not, almost break down. I'm strong doesn't mean you can disappoint me again and again. please, honey. You make me think that i'm not worth your time anymore. I know you'll say me thinking negatively and stuff again, but think. who's the one who makes me think that way ? I'm not trying to find fault or push blame, i'm not. It's not your fault too, i didn't blame you at all. I don't dare to get angry at you because i'm afraid you won't be bother anymore. I really wanna last with you this time round, really. Can you please show me that you are too ? Baby, i love you much more now. v

Sometimes we expect more from others because we’d be willing to do that much for them.

Back to square one, Mr kwan. (; Happy 1st month baby, i love it when both of us are waiting for 00.00 together on the 5th. At least you did remember it's our 1st month my boy :D You made me really upset but happy this month, you've prove to me that i'm right to not break up with you silly. How many months to go baby ?

Me : It's 12 ! happy 1month baby, i love you ttm ! :] don't leave me le uhh. ;( sleep now okay ? sweetdreams and goodnight baby . :] muacks. :) *hugs. see you later :P

baby : leave you ? :( i won't ah (: at least i'll try not to (: happy 1montn to you too baby (: plus .. plus .. plus last time de months ;x hehe . sweet dreams baby girl <3 i love you !! <3 (; sleep tight (;

Awwww, damn sweet uh (; just type it down as .. I'm afraid i'll never recieve this again. (: baby, i'll love you, always ! :D Spend some time with you last night, enjoyed much ! (; You're just so damn adorable ! :D

I've a lot of reason to give up being with you, but i still chose to stay (;

We may feel like dying at times, but in reality, most of us are just hoping for someone to save us; to pull us out from the abyss of darkness. Actually, i don't really ask for a lot in my life. I didn't ask for a perfect relationship, a perfect studies, a perfect life. I just want a normal, a very normal relationship. I miss that day, that special day whereby i went to your house. We laughed, played and even throw tantrums at each other, don't you miss it ? I miss the way you laughed when i tickled you, and you're calling for help and wanting me to stop . As for now, i just wished that you can be addicted to me the way you're to dota. I hope you realize, you've been neglecting me , a lot . You know what ? I've been stuck in between the choices of breaking up, I've been bottling up my feelings from the start, you don't even care and ask about it at all . Where do i stand in your heart ? Everything I've something to share with you, you'll just spoil the mood of mine to share it with anyone else. I'm afraid to make a choice, I'm afraid that i'll regret and this will be a big mistake. Baby, can you please .. put yourself in my shoes and think . Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. Nobody is forced to stay; we all have choices. But the real test is if someone would rather stay with you, even though walking away would be so much easier. Remember, if ever i made a choice, i still do love you , and always will .

A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want. Laugh but as for me, i don't think i should cling onto another guy for years anymore, it's agony seriously. What i'm gonna do now is move on, and yea.. i did. I'm wondering and wondering should i really get back to the guy that i waited for year ? I've promised somebody else that i'll not and never will be with him, but as for now, i've fallen back to him again. what am i suppose to do now then ? I'm afraid, i make the wrong choice again. All guys i've once been with are my mistake, but favourite mistake (; I'm really afraid things to get back to the past, history.